Lil' Zelda College
by Winter Daze
Summary: ...Lil' Zelda College...again. R+R please.
1. Time for Schooooool!!!

Lil' Zelda College: Time for Schooooool!!! 

A/N: I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!! Haha! Time to grace FF.net with my school fics!! Well, it might not be exactly _gracing_ to you guys, but it is to me! Now, this is the sequel to Lil' Zelda High School, and if you haven't read it, please do. This might make a little more sense if you do. ON WITH DA FIC!!

Disclaimer: Zelda Games: They are not mi-ine! Falalalalaaalalalala!

Hey! Lookie, down there! I've got a new line!

**=.+.=.+.=**

**Bzzzzzzzz!!!!**

Link woke up, startled. He looked at his alarm clock, then threw his pillow at the almost dead bee on his window.

He stood up, and looked at the picture of (Zelda/Malon) on his wall. They had decided to take it a little bit slower, so they broke up. But they still once in a while 'hook up' to go out to eat or something.

He slowly stood up, took his shower, and got dressed. Today was his first day at college, and he wondered if anybody changed.

He walked by the stairs, but tripped on a soap bar, and fell all the way down. He got up, hit his head on a shelf, and got bitten in the rear by a Chihuahua. He yelped, and tried to run out the door.... But it was closed. He fell down, face-first into the Chihuahua's water bowl.

Nope. Nothing unusual had happened yet.

**=.+.=.+.=**

Ruto quietly got up, and put on her black bobby socks. She wore them to show she was in mourning.

Japas had ran away-er, I mean... _Moved away._

She decided to go after Link and Kafei again. She grabbed her bag, and headed out the door.

** =.+.=.+.=**

Zelda, Malon, and Saria were walking down the road to their schools.

"So," said Zelda. "Saria. What are you gonna major in?"

"I'm going to be a teacher."

"Oh! Which college will you be going to?" asked Malon.

"Hyrule City University."

Malon and Zelda stared at her, then, something snapped.

"You're going to the city university?!?!?!" they squealed. "That's only for the smartest kids!!"

"Nu-uh! Ganon's going there too."

"They probably had pity on him."

"Yeah. Anyway, what are you two going to be?"

"Beauticians." they said together. "At Marina Academy."

Zelda looked around. "Hey, Malon. There's the academy. See ya later, Saria!"

"Bye!"

Zelda and Malon walked away, leaving Saria to walk the next block to her university. 

"Hey! Saria!" She turned around, and saw Mido running up towards her.

"Hiya, Mido!" She gave him a peck on the cheek, and they both started walking to their colleges.

"So, which college are you going to again, Hun?" asked Saria. She and Mido had been going steady for the past three months.

"Freshwater. You're Hyrule City, right?"

She nodded. Pretty soon, they got to Hyrule City University, and Mido said good-bye, and left.

**=.+.=.+.=**

Kafei walked into the Freshwater College after he had said good-bye to Anju.

He heard something crash to the floor, and turned his head in the direction of the noise.

There stood Link, who, apparently, had tried to help one of the teachers by carrying in a model skeleton. Skullkid was helping him pick them up.

"JEEZ, LINK. ALL I DID WAS SAY 'HI' TO YOU, AND YOU FREAKED OUT!!"

"Sorry, Skullkid."

Suddenly, Ruto came out of nowhere. "LINKY-BOY!! HOW NICE TO SEE YOU!!!!"

Kafei sighed. He thought he'd at least get a school without all these freaks. But instead, it was full of them.

**=.+.=.+.=**

Ganon and Nabooru looked at the wanted poster posted on the tree.

It read:

**Wanted**

**Ganon and Nabooru for theft.  
$50 reward.**

Nabby glared at it.

"Fifty bucks! I'm worth more than that!"

"You know what? I'm thinking that it wouldn't be such a good idea to go to the school, now."

"Uh, yeah. But hey, look at it this way, Luv. We're famous!"

"Yeah, but that's unfortunately famous with the cops all over the city."

"Yeah, so it has a few draw-backs?"

**=.+.=.+.=**

A/N: OK, OK. It's not that funny yet, but will be soon, promise ^^ Anyway, how'd you like it so far?


	2. Oh No, It's........ JARED!! EEEEEEEEE!...

Lil' Zelda College: Oh No, It's........ JARED!! EEEEEEEEE!!!

A/N: Hey! The Mistress Of Lunacy is back for chapter two!! Anywho, some of you thought that the last chapter sucked and I've got one thing to say to you: **I ALREADY KNEW THAT!! Remember when I said "OK, OK. It's not that funny yet, but will be soon, promise ^^"? I WASN'T LYING!!** Now, on with the feature presentation!

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Zelda. I do, however, own this story. Wanna know where I go the idea? From her! *points to cat* Yes! It's my prophetic kitty!!!

**=.+.=.+.=**

Ruto skipped around the halls, with Kafei and Link in tow. She threw her bobby socks in the trash, and a few people fainted from the stench of her feet.

She didn't notice as she pulled Link and Kafei around.

"I'VE GOT KAFEI, ALSO LI-INK! I'M A HAPPY FISH! OH YES I AM!! I'M NOT SAD 'BOUT JAPAS NO MORE!! CAUSE I'VE GOT KAFEI, AND ALSO LINK!!"

"Ruto!" shouted Kafei. "Please stop singing!!"

"Come on, Kafei-Poo! Get into your Christmas Spirit!! Falalalalaaaa Lalalala!!"

"You've still got one month to wait!!

"FALALALALAAAAAAAAAA!! LALA....LAAA......LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!"

"Alright, Link!" said Kafei. "Here's our escape route: First we-"

"WHAT?!"

"I said, first we-"

"WHAT?!"

"I SAID FIRST WE-"

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU!! AHHH!! I'M GOING DEAF!!!"

"FALALALALALALALALA!!! Yay! I'm finished!!"

"WHAT?!"

"I said I'm finished, Linky-Boy!!

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou! Oh thank you, goddesses!!" said Kafei, holding his hands up.

"Hey, Kafei-Poo! Do you want to join me at the "Karaoke Klub Klutzy" tomorrow night?"

"Wha-?"

"FALALALALALALALALA!!"

"NOOOOO!!!" Somehow, Kafei got out of Ruto's grasp, and he started to run.

"Kafei-Poo!!!" Ruto raced after him, leaving Link behind.

"WHAT?! HELLO?! WHAT?!"

(A/N: Geez, I'm on some "Deck The Halls" splurge, read the disclaimer in the last chap to see what I mean!)

**=.+.=.+.=**

"Hello, Class." Zelda and Malon's **outrageously **fat teacher said. "My name is Jared Funk, but you can just call Mr. Funk."

They all nodded. Most of them were nodding to sleep, but they still nodded.

Suddenly, I, Winter Daze, raise my hand. Yes, I go to their college, so nyah!

"Yes, W.D.?" asks Mr. Funk.

"Um, you wouldn't happen to be the same Jared Funk from my _other _ school, who's **much **fatter than Rauru, and has contagious germs that you get if he touches you, and you have to get a shot the size of your head to cure it, would you? Hmmmmmmmmmmm???"

"Why, yes. That's me."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I quickly get out of my seat, jump out the two story window, and into a hornet's nest.

Instead of stinging me, all of the hornets fly into the classroom, and sting Mr. Funk. Pretty soon he becomes swollen, and fatter than he usually is (like that's possible), and takes up all of the room in the class so that all of the kids have to get out in order to breathe.

Zelda and Malon help me out of the hornet's nest, and I take out The Frogginator, and disappear.

Whoa. That was even _stupider _than the last little segment.

**=.+.=.+.=**

After the first day of college was over, Ruto went to the Cheesy Puffs stand to get some Pork Buns (A/N: I can't help it! I'm obsessed with the Cheesy Puff stand!!). When she got there, there was this **HUGE FAT UGLY GUY WITH A HAIRCUT THAT MADE IT LOOK LIKE HE HAD A FIGHT WITH A LAWNMOWER AND LOST!!!** That guy was Jared Funk.

Ruto screamed at the top of her fishy-fish lungs and ran away, traumatized.

Anju and Kafei, who just happened to be *ahem*ing when they heard Ruto scream, quickly looked to see what was going on.

"Aw, dude!" said Kafei. "Jared must be kind of ugly, fat, stupid, VERY unattractive, quite large, idiotic, boring-"

"Get on with it, Kaff." said Anju.

"Um, all the aforementioned things to get dissed by Ruto!"

Anju nodded.

"Poor guy."

"Hey!" I shout. "You're not supposed to feel sorry for the creep!"

"Why not? He must not have very many friends!"

"That's because he follows you around at recess, with his arms raised, walking sloooooowly whispering things to nobody in particular! Not to mention he TALKS TO HIS WATCH!!! I swear! He's not human!!!"

"Oh."

"W.D., why are you giving Jared a cameo in your fic? You don't like him!"

"That's because I want all of the world wide web to see his idiocy!! Mua Hahahahahahaha!!! Pretty soon I'll- Hey! Where are you two going?"

"Um, to get Pork Buns?"

"Then your walking in the wrong direction."

"Did I say Pork Buns? I meant, Bork Puns!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Um, no time to explain. Bye!"

And they run away. Far, far, away from my lunacy.

"Mua Hahahahahahahahah-"

"Excuse me, do you happen to have any ketchup?"

I turn around, and there stands Jared Funk.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I run away, screaming.

**=.+.=.+.=**

A/N: Well, wasn't _that_ random? I'm in a weird mood right now.


	3. Kimberly

Lil' Zelda College: Kimberly 

A/N: HEYHEYHEYHEYHEYHEY!!!!!!! I HAVE A PLOT NOW!!! Yeah, yeah, I should get my plot in mind before I write the story. BUT I COULDN'T WAIT THAT LONG!!!! *ahem* Enjoy my wonderfully plot-filled chapter.

Next, I have to say that I'm sorry this wasn't up sooner, but our internet connection wasn't working, so I had to wait. Gosh Darnit!! That really sucked.

Disclaimer: I don't own Zelda, or I would have made 1,000,000,001 games by now! I do, however, own the new character introduced in this chapter. I don't own Jared from the last chapter (thank DIN!!!!), and plan on never owning him. If I ever did, I would make him my slave, and make him clean the cat box, mow the lawn, wash the dishes, clean the house, and jump off a cliff after that. If he doesn't get hurt, I will personally make him into a punching bag. Hey, he's big enough...

**=.+.=.+.=**

A girl with dark crimson hair, in a princess curls design, was walking down the halls of Freshwater College. Her hair was making a sweeping motion, as were the eyes of all the boys. She was wearing a black tank-top, with the words "Playas Anonymous" going across the center. She had a mini-skirt on, and it was _ mini!!_ Long socks, and black high heels adorned her legs.

Mido was busy kissing a picture of Saria in his locker, when the girl walked passed. Her perfume made him trip, and fall into his locker, which shut behind him. He hit his head on his binder, tried to stand up, and hit the top shelf really hard.

"Ooooooohhhhhh!!" he whispered. "sHe'S sO pReTtY..." He fainted. Not just _any _faint, but a Mido faint.

The same thing happened to Skullkid. He got pushed into his locker. Only, he didn't say she was pretty, he said she was a..... well, let's just say he wasn't very nice. The girl just walked on by. She probably couldn't hear him because his gym sock was stuck in his mouth.

She glanced around the halls. _Oh goody! _she thought. _ There are at least fifteen boys in this hall. _She smirked, and walked over to Kafei. He was posting pictures of Anju around his locker. Most of them candid shots.

"Hello," she said, making sure to bat her eyelashes. "I'm new here, so would you mind showing me around?" She twirled a bit of her hair around her fingers as Kafei was adjusting a crooked picture. He grabbed his English book, and opened it up to a picture of Anju and some other guy. The face of the guy had been pulverized by a puce colored crayon.

The girl cleared her throat to get his attention. "Can you please show me around?"

Without looking up at her, he said, "I'm sorry, I'm busy... You can ask Link to-" He looked up. "HOLY SHNEEDER TOOZLES!!!!" he threw up his book, and fell on top of Link, causing them both to fall to the ground. Kafei's book landed on top of Link's head, causing it to land with a sickening thud to the ground.

"Ooowiiiee!!!"

"LINKLINKLINKLINK!!!!!" Kafei grabbed Link by the shoulders, and pointed his face in the direction of the crimson haired girl.

"AAIIEE!!!" Link got up, and pushed Kafei to the ground with a loud crash.

"Hello, Miss!! Do you need any help?! Help you around the halls, carry your books, take you out to dinner...???"

The girl giggled flirtatiously, which caused Link to go ga-ga. Drool began to develop at the corners of his mouth.

"Yes..." she whispered, adjusting her skirt. _Flirtatiously._

"Actually, all of those." She leaned in, closer to him. "_Especially the last one..._"

She cupped her hands under his chin, and pulled him into a kiss. His eyes widened.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ruto screamed as loud as she possibly could when she saw Link kissing the girl. "YOU ARE A PLAYER!!!!!!" she yelled, as she smacked him dozens of times.

"I, ow, am, ow, not! I'm, ow, not, ow, even going out with anyone, ow, ow, ow!! NOT EVEN YOU!!"

Ruto stopped smacking him, and put on a thoughtful look. "I guess you're right. I mean, _real_ players don't even know the names of the people they kiss. You know hers, right?" Link stared at her.

"Um....... What's your name?"

"YOU PLAYER!!!!!!" Ruto started to foam at the mouth, and her eyes became as red as the glowy thingy my flashlight has. She smacked Link again, and stomped off.

The crimson headed girl giggled (did you realize that I _could_ use the word 'pink' or 'red' instead of 'crimson', but I don't?!?!?!), and handed Link a slip of paper.

Link stared at it for a good ten minutes. He opened it, and stared at the writing even longer. It was probably because he wasn't that good of a reader, but STILL! It read:

**_Hey, Hot Stuff,_**

**_I am totally attracted by your good looks and sense of charm.  
I was hoping that we could go out sometime...  
Call me tonight!  
See ya, Cutie..._**

**_ ~♥*Kimberly*♥~_**

Link didn't even notice that it was a photocopy. And that the Kimberly girl was giving one to Kafei, and him, and him, and him, and him, and him- Well, you get the point.

**=.+.=.+.=**

(Zelda/Malon) was walking to her and (the other one)'s dorm. She made sure that (the other one) wasn't there.

(Zelda/Malon) dressed in front of the mirror, because she was going to call _him_. Some people might have thought she was crazy to dress up for a phone call, and I've got one thing to say to you! She _is_ crazy.

She picked up the phone, and dialed Link's number.

**_Ring! Ring! Ring... Ring you ding-a-ling! Hey! That rhymes!_**

"Hello?"

"Link! Hi! I was wondering if you want to go out with me this Saturday... I could drive, since you got your license suspended in that crazy clown incident. Maybe we could go to the multiplex, I heard that **The Macaroni Theft** is really funny!"

"But, (Zel/Mal (her pet-name!!))! I'm wait-"

"Oh! That's right. It's rated PG13 and your mom won't allow you to see over G rated movies. Hey! We could go see **The Telletubbies Strike!**! No, that's rated R. Oh! **Miss Lolly and The Bunnies**! That's only G! Can we see it? Just you and me? It doesn't matter what movie it is. I don't plan on looking at the screen for long... Eep! Did I just say that OUT LOUD?!?! Forget that I said that I was just-"

"(ZEL/MAL)!!!!"

"What?"

"I'm waiting for somebody to call me back."

"Oh, I'll hang up. We can still go, right?"

"Actually, we just made plans to go to the park, and take a moon-lit stroll... She just said that she would call me back."

"..................................................................................................................you're kidding. Right?"

"Actually I-"

"WHAT?!?!?! WE BROKE UP JUST SO THAT WE COULD TAKE IT SLOWER, AND YOU **GET ANOTHER GIRL?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!**"

"But-"

"Who is this ditz?! IS IT (Zelda/Malon)?! If it is I'll-"

"It's not her!"

"Oh. It can't be Anju because- WAIT! Anju called me earlier and told me she broke up with Kafei because he has a date with some girl named Ki- Ki- Oh, what was her name again?"

"It's not Anju. I don't think you've ever met her."

(Zelda/Malon) put on an innocent face as (the other one) walked through the door.

"Who's that?"

"Oh, just a friend..."

"Link, isn't it?"

"........."

"GIMME THAT PHONE!!" Zelda and Malon both grabbed hold of the phone, and a Tug-of-War started.

"NOT ON YOUR LIFE!!!" The phone began to crack.

"Her name's Kimberly." came Link's voice from the phone that was being mutilated.

Zelda and Malon stopped fighting.

"K-Kimberly?" They looked at each other.

"Isn't that who Kafei is dating?"

Link hung up, because he was waiting for Kimberly to call.

"..."

"..."

Zelda and Malon looked at each other.

They looked at each other yet again.

And again.

Again.

Blah.

Poopy.

"KIMBERLY IS TAKING AWAY ALL THE CUTE GUYS!!!!!"

"Huh? Wha?" I ask, sitting up in my bed. I share their dorm, cause I want to, and I was already there because I pretended I was sick. "All the cute boys?!" I shoot out of my bed, still in my Tweety nightshirt, and run out the door.

"SKULLKID!!!!!!!!"

**=.+.=.+.=**

A/N: Voila! How do you like this? Hehe... Can you guys guess what my plot is yet? Probably not, it doesn't show up that good in this chap. But you will by the end of the fic!! .......hopefully.


	4. Down The Stairwell...Until you Crack you...

Lil' Zelda College: Down The Stairwell...Until you Crack your Head at the Bottom

A/N: HEEEEEEEEY!! I HAVE AN IDEA!! *light bulb pops overhead* I don't need yer caption contest subs anymore!!!!!!!!! NOT LIKE YOU CARE!! Hardly anybody entered, anyway... *ahem* My idea is this: Instead of having a stupid website that makes graphics, WHY DON'T WE HAVE ONE THAT HOSTS FAN....STUFF!?!?! It's gonna have the same URL as the last site, but it will be TOTALLY diff! *menacing voice* And when it's up... **ALL** of you had better send stuff in... MUA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! Now, on with the feature preseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeentation!

Disclaimer: I hate disclaimers. Wanna know why??? ISN'T IT KINDA OBVIOUS THAT I DON'T OWN ZELDA?!?! Come ON! I'm a freaky girl with nothing better to do than play with her prophetic kitty!!!

**=.+.=.+.=**

Kimberly walked around for 10 frickin minutes without ANY idea where she was going. She kept passing the same tree. But she didn't know. She had her IQ powered to "Low".

The only thoughts in her head were: _I can't wait for my date with.... uh, what was his name again? Bill? No, that was yesterday's. Billy? No, that's tomorrow's. Well, I know I'm close to what his name is! It's something with 'Bil' at the beginning._ She didn't know the guy's name was Frank.

But could you blame her? The only thing she was good at was being a slut. In everything else, she had the brainpower of a rotten stump. If not less.

She ran into something, it was the door to JC Pennies. She walked in. She had no idea she was being stalked.

"Alright, gals," said Malon, adjusting her raincoat and sunglasses. "Now is the time to strike!"

Zelda nodded. "Time to get Kimberly..."

"And tell her that her lipstick is smudged!" finished Anju. Zelda and Malon whacked her upside the head.

The three girls followed Kimberly into the building, and casually followed her, trying not to be too suspicious.

Unfortunately for them, three girls, in raincoats, hats, and sunglasses following someone is _a little_ suspicious. But just if they did something that would attract people's attention. They hadn't done that........ yet.

Anju tripped on her coat, and fell into a line of mannequins. One mannequin got her hair snagged in its fingers.

"AAAAHH!! HELP!! ATTACK OF THE DUMMIES!!"

She kicked at Zelda, who fell onto Malon, who fell into a display of bean-scented perfumes.

Malon got up, and tried to wipe the scent of bean off of her.

She looked around. "I hope nobody noticed us..."

They quickly ran behind Kimberly, and followed her. They tried not to be noticed, but it didn't work out the way they intended.

Malon fell flat on her face because she tripped on one of those demon Telletubbie toys.

Zelda slipped on a puddle on who-knows-what, and fell into the pants aisle.

Anju talked to a mannequin.

Kimberly glanced at them from the corner of her eye.

She sighed.

_Those dweebs! What are they doing? Oh, they must be the girlfriends of **my** guys. Hhhh. What a pity, to dispose of such....**almost** pretty people._

With that, Kimberly made a sharp turn towards the stairwell.

She opened the door, and looked at the girls.

"After you." she said, smiling politely.

Malon, Zelda, and Anju looked at each other.

Malon nodded, so they entered.

Kimberly grinned. "See you next fall. Have a nice trip." With that, she shoved the girls down the stairwell.

"BEEEAAAN!" shouted Anju.

Malon kicked her in mid-air.

They tumbled down, and down, and down, and down, and down, and down, until they hit the bottom.

"..................ow. I think I broke my pelvis."

"...what's a pelvis?"

"......shut-up."

".............I have a concussion."

".....good for you."

"How can you have a concussion if you're conscious and you're-"

"Didn't I tell you to shut-up?"

"Sorry."

They all fainted.

Kimberly calmly walked out of there, and closed the door.

"What was that?"

She spun around, startled. Link was standing there.

"Did you push them down?"

"Uh.......... No?"

"Oh. OK, then! Bye Kim! See ya later!"

Kimberly looked at him strangely. _Not the brightest crayon in the box, are we?_

**=.+.=.+.=**

A/N: Heeeeeeeeeeeeey! This chapter is SMALL!! BUT I DON'T CARE!


	5. Pain, Pain, and Even More Pain

Lil' Zelda College: Pain, Pain, and Even More Pain

A/N: Lalalala! Heeey! I wuz readin the reviews you guys had written. I came across Grayn's review. He said something like my stories too similar to LZHS, and that it needs to be more varied. I agree, but need help! Give me some ideas to make it different! The poll will be something like this. **Because of this, this chapter may be on the super-totally-short side!**

Next, I would just like to announce to everyone what my favorite story is. It is by SweetSaria88. It's called Child of the Desert: Naboruu's Story. It's soooooo good! You HAVE to read it! Check it! PLEASE!!!!

Disclaimer: Zelda is not mine. Kimberly is. I'm so thrilled. I'd rather own Kim than an awesome game. Really.

**=.+.=.+.=**

Zelda's eyes fluttered open. She tried to get up, but a barrel of beans was on top of her. She looked around. Anju and Malon were there too.

Anju had a mannequin's foot stuck in her mouth, and Malon was bobbling around the room on her foot. She was muttering something about pickles, but that has absolutely nothing to do with ANYTHING, so I won't tell you what she said.

"Mal? What happened?" Zelda looked around, again. She took out her compact mirror, and screamed. She quickly got up, knocking over the barrel of beans in the process.

"MAAAAAAL!!!! WHAT IN THE LAND OF PANTS HAPPENED TO US?!? MY HAIR LOOKS LIKE IT WENT THROUGH A TWISTER! WAHH!! I JUST GOT A PERM!!"

Malon glared at the ceiling. "Kimberly pushed us down three stinkin' flights of stairs!!"

"Oh." Zelda got out her handy-dandy brush, and brushed like mad. When you were little, and your mom was upset at your dad because of some stupid little thing? And she brushed your hair? Ooooh, that hurts! Whoopsies! Gettin' a little off topic, aren't I?

"Well," said Anju. She spat the foot out of her mouth, and got up. "Shouldn't we be hurt or something?"

Suddenly, Winter Daze's egg timer went off. Then...

"AAAAAAH!! MY LEG! MY LEG!!" Anju fell over, head-first into the barrel of beans.

Malon screamed. "MY PELVIS! IT'S **STILL** BROKEN!! HOW COULD THIS BE?!?!"

"MY ARMS! No, wait... MY ONE ARM! I THINK IT'S BROKEN! MY LEFT ARM! No... IT'S MY RIGHT! AAAAH!!"

They all fainted again.

**=.+.=.+.=**

Link was all scatterbrained, scatty, capricious, excited, giddy, excited, flighty, and all the other words in my thesaurus.

HE WAS HOLDING HANDS WITH KIMBERLY!!!

They were walking down the road, TOWARDS THE MOVIES!

"So," asked Kimberly. "What do you wanna see?"

Link drooled.

"Ew! That is, like, SO not sanitary!"

Link slobbered.

"GROSS!"

Link salivated.

"DISGUSTING!"

Link- AH! My thesaurus ran outta words! Ah- he drooled.

"THAT'S IT!" cried Kimberly. She ran into Wal-Mart, and came back out with a sponge. She stuffed it into Link's mouth.

**=.+.=.+.=**

A/N: SORRYSORRYSORRYSORRY!! This chapter is WAY BEYOND short! But I can't think of anything! PLZ GIVE ME SUGGESTIONS!! Puh-LEAZE do not review saying things like, "I like it, but this chapter is too short!" It's not a flame, I know that, but it gets so darn annoying when you say you know it's short, but somebody else tells you, "just in case".


	6. SUGAAAAAAAAAR GOOD FOR ME!!

Lil' Zelda College: SUGAAAAAAAAAR GOOD FOR ME!!

A/N: I. Am. On. A....................................SUGAR RUSH!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  
PLEASE ENJOY MY CHAPTER!!  
GUESS WHAT?! I STILL HAVE WRITER'S BLOCK!! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I AM WRITING!!!!!

Oh well. LET'S JUST SEE HOW THIS TURNS OUT!!!!!!

Disclaimer: Zelda is not mine. The idea of a Zelda school fic is. Kimberly is mine. My prophetic kitty is mine.

**=.+.=.+.=**

_We find ourselves walking down the ******* street, right behind that little ***** that ******* got my **** boyfriend! She is so ******* dead! I will ******* throw her down, and beat the **** out of her!_ thought Malon as she walked, or wobbled, down the street with Zelda on crutches, and Anju in a wheelchair, behind her.

They had gotten out of the stairwell when a freaky old lady claiming herself to be Tinkerbell jumped on top of Anju.

They ran for their lives.

Zelda gasped, causing Malon to come out of her little dream world made of fairies and sugar plum princesses.

"What?"

"Link and Kimberly just walked into the FREAKING MOVIES THEATER!!!" Zelda threw her crutches onto Anju (who had gotten whapped upside the head enough times that day), and started to run for the theater.

"No! Wait!" Malon shouted.

Zelda whipped around, and looked at Malon.

"What is it?! They're gonna do something!! Like-WATCH AN R RATED MOVIE!!"

"So? We're old enough!"

"....well....you know how Link's mom gets when she finds out what kind of movie he watches..."

"....you are correct."

"Also, HE'S IN THERE WITH KIMBERLY!!"

"Ohhh yeah, well-We're gonna have to play it cool."

Malon bent over, and took Zelda's crutches off Anju.

Zelda grabbed them, and all three walked, wobbled, and rolled into the lobby.

Link and Kimberly were getting tickets to "Doves at Heart".

"Isn't that a chick flick?" asked Anju. "Link's mom doesn't allow him to see those either!"

Zelda shushed her, and the three of them continued to watch behind a fake plant, ready to spring up, and save Link from his soda.

He had had quite a few experiences with pop, that weren't all that pleasant.

"Ooo goo gut uh heets, ile I gut uh upcoon!" Link said, while still carrying the sponge in his mouth.

"Alright. I'll get the seats while you get the popcorn, Kink!" said Kimberly.

"Ith's LINK!"

"OK, Sink!"

"LINK!"

"Alright, Shink!"

"**LINK**!!"

"Oh, OK, Fink!" Kimberly walked into the theater.

Link turned around to face a tall, pink haired woman.

"Isn't that Kimberly's mom?" asked Zelda.

Anju nodded. "But-She's the vice principal at Freshwater College, isn't she?"

"Maybe she needs the money." reasoned Malon.

Zelda studied Kimberly's mom carefully. "It looks like 'Mother like Daughter' to me."

"What do you mean?"

Zelda pointed over to Kim's mom.

She was wearing the movie uniform, only it looked about 3 sizes too small.

"I would like uh-lemme see-two large popcorns, two Mountain Dews, five boxes of Gummy Bears, and one bar of chocolate. Uh-what would Kimberly want? Uh-I'll get her the same." Link looked over at Kim's mom.

She wasn't writing or typing any of that down.

She was just staring at him.

"Uh, Ma'am?"

"My name's Scarlet."

"Uh-Link. Nice to meet you. Now, I would like two large-"

"Wanna go out with me, and watch a movie?"

"I already have a-"

"Aww, come on!" Scarlet pulled out a large whip.

Link backed away s l o w l y.

Suddenly, Scarlet jumped onto the counter, and cracked her whip.

"I AM SCARLET!! HEAR ME ROAR!! OH HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!!!!!" She cracked her whip again.

She jumped off the counter, and chased Link around the whole room.

"KISS ME!!!"

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMY!!!!!!!"

"Mother! What are you doing?!"

Scarlet stopped in her tracks, and turned around. "Kimberly? What do you mean?"

"Tonight, he's MINE. Tomorrow, he's open. Take him then. He goes to the college."

Link, who had kept running, even after Scarlet stopped, had just ran into the wall.

"Well, OK. But leave some for me!" Scarlet pouted, and returned to her counter.

The customers quickly left.

Kimberly grabbed Link, and they both walked into the theater.

Zelda tossed a few fifties at the ticket guy, and grabbed three tickets.

Zelda, Malon, and Anju looked at each other, and ran into the theater.

They sat behind Link and Kimberly, who were behind Mido and Saria.

**=.+.=.+.=**

A/N: HAHA!! MY SUGAR IS ONLY HALF WAY GONE!!! BUT I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE!! I STILL HAVE WRITER'S BLOCK!! I WANNA GO INTO A JACUZZI!! I LIKE THAT WORD!! JACUZZI!!

UH- GIVE ME SOME IDEAS!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE?!?! I FOUND A FEW THAT I MAY LIKE, BUT NOT NEARLY ENOUGH!!!!!


	7. A Tiny Chapter

Lil' Zelda College: A Tiny Chapter

A/N: Here it is! Chapter seven!

Disclaimer: I don't own Zelda. The use Kimberly or Scarlet without my permission is forbidden.

**=.+.=.+.=**

Zelda, Malon, and Anju were sitting behind Link and Kimberly, watching Link's every move with his soda very intently. Oh yeah, they were also watching his activity with Kimberly.

Suddenly, an image flashed across the movie screen.

Well, it was more two shadows. They had their backs turned (if you can tell if a shadow's back is turned), so they probably didn't know where they were.

Their voices echoed throughout the whole theater.

"Uh...do you think we're south of the border yet?" said one. The other one turned around.

"Turn around, Doofus."

He did so.

".............whoopsies!!" The figure started to look around for something in his cloak.

"HURRY UP YOU FREAK OF NATURE!! GET YOUR S.B.'s OUT!!!!"

Meanwhile, the audience just sat there, and stared at them.

"ARGH!! GIVE ME YOUR CAPE!!" The (obviously) female figure grabbed the guys cape, and started to rummage through it.

Somebody in the audience stood up, and threw a pickle at them.

It hit the girl.

"HEY!! WHO THREW THAT AT ME?!?!?!?"

"Nabby-Nab, wait! Don't-"

The girl took off like a rocket, and jumped off the stage, and ran towards the man.

She did a Xena scream, and landed on top of him.

She punched the living daylights outta him.

Link got a good look at her face.

She had tannish skin, and fiery red hair that was held up in a ponytail.

"Nabooru?"

The girl looked up, and saw Link, some freak with pink hair, Mido, Saria, Zelda, Malon, and Anju, just staring at her.

"Ah-Ganondoofus! We got people that recognize us over here!!" with that, she ran, and did a flip, Matrix style, onto the stage.

"Did you get those stupid bombs, yet????"

"Um..."

Nabooru punched Ganon, and whistled.

Out of the ceiling, a bunch of tenth graders jumped down.

There was one eighth grader, still, but that was just because she was held back.

Nabooru pointed to the unconscious Ganon at her feet, and the tenth and one eighth graders all took out some smoke bombs.

They turned around, and screamed as loud as they could before throwing them at the crowd.

Now, if you were the crowd, wouldn't you be a little freaked out if a bunch of tenth graders jumped down from the ceiling, and screamed as loud as they could, and then smoke filled the room? Well, the crowd _here_ was.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! RABID MUNCHKINS!!!!"

Link grabbed Kimberly, and they ran out. Zelda grabbed her soda, Malon grabbed her popcorn, and Anju grabbed her candy, and they ran out.

And, yes, Saria grabbed Mido.

**=.+.=.+.=**

A/N: So, there you have it. I know it's short, and not funny, but it will get better ^^


	8. Anju Finds out Some...Interesting News

Lil' Zelda College: Anju Finds out Some...Interesting News

A/N: Well. I have decided to write some more. Please enjoy ^^

Disclaimer: Just GUESS what I'm about to say. I DON'T OWN ZELDA!!

**=.+.=.+.=**

Kimberly frowned. It was already past midnight, and she still didn't get what she wanted.

No, _that's_ not what she wanted. You sicko.

"Link?" she asked.

"Hmm?" Link said while stuffing his face full of Gummy Bears. Not the yellow kind, but the red kind because he likes the red kind a lot. It kind of reminded him his pet, Flusdkel. Ah. Flusdkel was his rabid pet chipmunk. It had red eyes, like the Gummy Bears. Flusdkel was lost after an incident with the washing machine.

They never did find him.

Kimberly quickly fixed her hair. "I, uh, I've got to, uh, go to the bathroom. Wait for me here, kay?" With that, Kimberly walked into a drug store, and went to the back, and knocked twice on the door.

Link stood outside, all alone, and that's when Malon and Zelda saw their chance. They ran towards Link, and Anju ran towards the drug store.

**=.+.=.+.=**

Kimberly knocked twice on the door, and waited. She filed her nails, and started to hum the Barney Theme Song.

A hard knock answered.

She knocked four times, and the door opened. She skipped inside.

Britney Spears was heard from a stereo, but the volume was quickly lowered.

"So. How much did you collect today?" asked a voice from the shadows.

"None yet. There were some freaks that interrupted our movie, so I wasn't able to ask that Link guy to give me some dough."

A man, with spiked up blue hair walked out of the shadows, and sighed. "I think you've lost your touch, Babe."

Kimberly frowned. "Nu-uh! I got 50$ from Billy, $78.01 from Tom, and one Benjamin Franklin from Rinse!" Kimberly took some money out of her purse, and slapped it down on the table. "I also got a free meal at the Tache D'Amour! You know, that expensive French restaurant?" Kimberly puffed out her chest, basking in her ego. "So, how much did you get?"

The boy smirked. "If you add it all together, I got a good sum of $1000 bucks."

Kimberly laughed. "De'Vonni, De'Vonni, De'Vonni. You know you'll never beat me. The week is far from over, Lover!"

De'Vonni and Kimberly shared a quick kiss.

Kimberly looked out the window, and gasped.

"AAII!! Two of those three freaks are carrying Link down the street!!"

De'Vonni laughed. "Better catch your money! That guy looks like he could give you a good sum! But he's getting away!!" De'Vonni doubled over in laughter.

Kimberly grabbed a pair of scissors, and cut off one of De'Vonni's locks of blue hair.

"Hey! What'd you do that for?!?!" But Kimberly couldn't hear him, she was already running out the door.

De'Vonni turned, and cranked up his stereo to play Britney Spears on full blast.

Little did he know that Anju had been eavesdropping on him and Kimberly.

"Gasp! Kimberly isn't just a slut for the fun of it! She does it for the money! Plus, it sounds Like Kimberly and De'Vonni guy are b/f and g/f!" Anju quickly got up, and tiptoed across the street.

That wasn't a really smart thing to do, because a car could have zoomed over, and squashed her numerous times. But, she was lucky.

**=.+.=.+.=**

Malon had Link flung over her shoulder, and she and Zelda were running down the street as fast as they possibly could.

Zelda looked behind her, and screamed. Malon did the same.

Kimberly was chasing them, and her eyes were red, her face was pink, and she had smoke coming out of her ears.

"GIVE ME BACK MY DATE!!!!!!!!"

Zelda and Malon tried to run faster, but they began to get really tired.

Suddenly, since it was convenient, Nabooru and Ganon drove up to them on a motorcycle.

"Need a lift?"

Zelda nodded, and she and Malon jumped onto the, now, crowded motorcycle.

The zoomed off, but Kimberly was still chasing them.

Anju ran up out of nowhere, and she was chasing Kimberly who was chasing the motorcycle.

AND THEN!! OUT OF NOWHERE SPRUNG RUTO!! She ran as fast as she could (which isn't very fast, considering she's a fish), chasing Link, who was getting a ride on a motorcycle, that was getting chased by Kimberly, who was getting chased by Anju.

Then Kafei started to chase them, JUST FER KICKS!

And Saria and Mido started to chase Kafei, 'cause he owed them five bucks!!

So now, we have EVERYBODY runnin' and ridin' down the street.

Kimberly glared at Anju, and kicked her.

Anju fell down, and accidentally tripped Ruto, who ran into Kafei, who ran into Saria, who fell on top of Mido.

So, we have Kimberly chasing a motorcycle that's being driven by two national criminals, and there's a boy and two girls on it, and behind them all is a big ol' pile of people.

Now, tell me that YOU'RE neighborhood is more exciting than this.

**=.+.=.+.=**

A/N: Yep. That's the end of chapter eight!


	9. THE STUPID CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!

Lil' Zelda College: THE STUPID CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!

A/N: Oy, low update streak, ne? Sorry, bout that! Please enjoy this chapter! ANYwho, HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Mmmmm...I get to have sauerkraut on New Year's Day. Some of you may hate sauerkraut, and some never have tried it, but it grows on ya! I love it, now! Especially if meat is soaked in the juice....mmmmmmmmmmmmm....

Disclaimer: If you haven't figured it out by now, you're dumber than Link. (Link: HEY!)

**=.+.=.+.=**

Link was holding onto Zelda, screaming for his life.

He was, sorta, flailing in the wind. But nobody else on the motorcycle cared.

Nabooru handed Malon and Zelda some helmets. The put them on, and gave Link a bucket to wear.

It was a blue bucket. With purple rust. Actually, it was red rust, but Adored Princess spray painted it purple, cuz she likes purple.

Kimberly was gaining on them, and fast. That was probably cuz she had jet packs on. Or it could have been cuz they were running out of gas.

Either way, she was only a few feet behind them.

"Hold on!" shouted Ganon. He veered the bike up, and they zooooooooooooomied off!! ZOOMIE!!!

Kimberly coughed. She waved her hand in front of her face to clear the dirt.

She hacked, and wheezed. She held her fists up and said, "I'LL GET YOU MY UGLIES!! AND YOUR LITTLE BOYFRIEND TOO!!"

**=.+.=.+.=**

Meanwhile, back in the pile o' people...

Anju got up, and started to run back after Malon and Zelda. She HAD to tell them the news about Kimberly and that De'Vookie guy. Or whatever his name was.

Kafei ran home, after he gave Saria and Mido their five bucks.

Ruto ran away, crying.

Mido got up, and held his hand for Saria. He helped her up. (A/N: I HAVE to have some M/S shippyness in this fic!! I just HAVE to!)

They walked across the street, and lo-and-behold! Tache D'Amour was right in front of them!

They walked in, and found out they had a reservation! This was feh-reeeeeeeeaaaaky weird to Saria, but Mido didn't seam too surprised!!! WHY?! YOU'LL HAVE TO SEE!!!

They sat down at the cute little table, with their cute little silverware, and their cute little napkins, and their cute little glasses, and their cute little chairs!!!

Saria ordered Beau Dîner De Poissons. And Mido ordered Bourré Par Crabe Flet. For drinks they had MILK!! FRESH FROM THE.....GOAT!!!!

Ya see, Mido had been planning on proposing to Saria ^___________^ (I got the idea from me goooood buddy, Adored Princess! Mwahz to you!!)

He took the ring out of his pocket, and reached over to Saria. He grabbed her hand, and was about to produce the ring to her, when it fell into her MILK!! He was about to grab it, when SHE PICKED IT UP AND DRANK FROM IT!!!! When she put the glass down, Mido looked in it. THERE WAS NO RING!!!!

He fainted his special Mido faint!!!!!

Saria stood up to look at him, she knocked over her glass in the process. MILK spilled everywhere, and OUT POPPED A RING!!!!

She picked it up. "How did this get here?" She took the ring, and chucked it at some old lady. She picked up Mido, and walked out the door!!

Mido woke up, and ran into a drug store! HE DID!!! NOT THE SAME ONE AS KIMBERLY, THOUGH!!

He took one of those cheap, 25 cent rings. He ran out, and gave it to Saria. "Will you MARRY ME?!?!?!"

Saria nodded. "YES!!!!!!!! I WILL MARRY YOU!!!"

They ran out into the street, and started to DANCE!!! Then this big ol' semi truck came outta nowhere!! Saria ran out of the way, but the truck SQUISHIED MIDO!!!

Saria rushed him to the hospital right away.

(A/N: Okaaaaay...that was pure fluff. That didn't need to be in the story. And it was kinda random. Oh well. BACK TO THE STORY!!)

**=.+.=.+.=**

Ganon stopped the bike in front of the Cheesy Puff stand.

Malon, Zelda, and Link hopped off the bike, and thanked them.

"No prob." said Nabooru as she walked over to the stand. She got some pork buns. She handed three to Link to share with Zelda and Malon.

She handed Ganon one, and jumped on the back of the bike.

"Dangit, Nabby!" shouted Ganon through his helmet. "I told you I wanted honey on my pork bun! This IS OUR dinner, you know!"

Nabooru smirked as she put her helmet on. "Well, I was thinking we could go have 'dinner' in our motel room..."

Ganon turned around, and looked at her through his helmet. They kept still like that for a few minutes.

Then Ganon veered the bike up, and drove to their motel as fast as he could.

Zelda looked at Malon. "You know, Ganon kinda looked good with that helmet covering his face!"

Malon giggled. "Yeah, but can you picture Link with a helmet on????"

"Or how about with that leather jacket??? Mmmm..."

"No! A whole leather SUIT!!" Both girls giggled, envisioning Link.

"Hey!" said Link. He startled them. "Don't you remember that I'm still HERE???"

Zelda glared at him. Malon did the same. "You didn't hear ANYTHING."

"Gulp.....gotcha." Link looked at them. "It doesn't matter. Kimberly's my girlfriend."

Suddenly, Anju jumped out of a tree. "No she's not!!!!!" she shouted.

"What are you talking about?"

"She's using you for the money!!"

"But I haven't given her any-"

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT!!"

"Then what is?"

"I'M GETTING THERE!!!"

And then Anju told them all about De'Vonni. I won't tell you what she said because I'm too lazy to type it all.

It took Link a while to process this, but after ten minutes he shouted, "SHE'S USING ME?????!!!!"

Anju nodded.

"Well....WE HAVE TO GET BACK AT HER!!"

"But HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" shouted Malon. "Ahem...sorry, I was getting caught in the moment."

"I'VE GOT AN IDEA!!" shouted Zelda.

**=.+.=.+.=**

A/N: Theeeeeeeeeeere ya go!!! Hope you enjoyed it!! Probably not...it only took like ten minutes to write.

R+R!

**Poll!**

**What does this fic need more of?**

**YOU get to decide what it needs! Tell me in your review! Or e-mail me at winterdaze@behindthebadge.net!!**


	10. WEDDING BELLS! No wait, THAT'S THE ICE ...

Lil' Zelda College: WEDDING BELLS! No wait, THAT'S THE ICE CREAM TRUCK!! YUM!!

A/N: Aloha! Happy (waaaaaaaaaaaaay belated) 2002!! Ehh...sorry about me only updating like once a millennium. I'll try to get the next few chappies out sooner. Anywho, this one may be short, because I'm writing it ON A WHIM!!

Disclaimer: ...do I have to type this out...for the TENTH STINKING TIME???

**=.+.=.+.=**

Zelda was jes' about to tell them of her wonderful plan, when they heard a semi-truck run past. Then Mido fell out of a tree, with Saria behind him.

There was a pause, until Saria screamed.

"COME TO OUR WEDDING!! COME! COME!! COME OR ELSE YOU DIE!!!"

Then she slung Mido over her shoulder, and ran off to invite more people.

The group stared after them for a few minutes, and then Zelda said, "I've STILL got a plan!"

So they all crowded around her, and she started to explain.

"Since we know that Saria is going to invite every freaking person in the city, we could have Kimberly sit with Link! That could be their date-thingy! And then, um, we do all sorts of stuff to her!"

Link stared at her. "................_and_? Is that it??"

"..........yup."

Malon blinked. "I......think.........THAT'S A GREAT IDEA!!"

"You DO!? Yay!"

"How are we gonna do, though?"

A little light bulb appeared over Anju's head. "I know! We could have her eat BEANS!!"

"And snails!"

"AND BEANS!"

"And roaches!"

"AND BEANS!"

"And unripe bananas!"

"AND BEANS!"

"And beans!"

"AND BE-oh wait-Yeah! I agree with you!"

Link scratched his chin. "What else?"

"We could...I dunno. We can make it up as we go along."

"Hey! Do you know for sure if they're gonna invite Kimberly?" asked Malon, gazing at a rabid chipmunk that was devouring a pork bun.

Link sat down. Then he stood up again. "We could go and tell them to invite her."

Anju jumped up and down. "I'LL GO!!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. Then she ran off in the wrong direction.

"Um...I'll go." said Malon. Then she stood up, and ran in a different direction. Unfortunately, that one was wrong too.

Zelda ran after her.

Link stood up, and ran in the RIGHT direction.

**=.+.=.+.=**

Saria and Mido (A/N: *swoon*) were running all over the city, looking for people to invite.

They turned a corner, but suddenly, Mido ran into a brick wall! But it wasn't a brick wall after all!! In fact, it was a CONCRETE wall!!

Poor unconscious Mido fell on top of Saria.

They just lay there, in the middle of the sidewalk, when Link popped into view!!

"What are you doing?"

"Um...enjoying the skylight?"

"Oh. Um...about your wedding..."

"What?"

"Could you invite Kimberly?"

At the mention of Kimberly, Mido jumped back into consciousness, and started to drool. "Did you say Kim-"

He was knocked out cold by Saria.

"Why would we invite that SLUT to OUR wedding?? SHE would just STEAL Mido out from UNDER my NOSE!! I don't TRUST her!!"

"Please?"

"OK."

Link hugged Saria, but was knocked out, and beaten up by her very jealous fiancée, who just happened to have woken up again.

"Oh, Mido!" giggled Saria.

"Saria..."

"Mido..."

"Saria..."

"Mido..."

"Saria..."

"Mido..."

"Saria..."

"Mido..."

"Saria..."

"Mido..."

"Saria..."

"Mido..."

"Saria..."

"Mido..."

"Saria..."

"Mido..."

"Saria..."

"Mido..."

"Saria..."

"Mido..."

"Saria..."

"Mido..."

"Saria..."

"Mido..."

"Saria..."

"Mido..."

"Saria..."

"Mido..."

"Saria..."

"Mido..."

"Saria..."

"Mido..."

"Saria..."

"Mido..."

"Saria..."

"Mido..."

"Saria..."

"Mido..."

"Saria..."

"Mido..."

"Saria..."

"Mido..."

"Saria..."

"Mido..."

"Saria..."

"Mido..."

"Saria..."

"Mido..."

"Saria..."

"Mido..."

"Saria..."

"Mido..."

"Saria..."

"Mido..."

...........................and they went on like that for a while.

Link woke up, and nearly barfed because of the cuteness happening. So he ran away. Far, far away. As far as Djibouti! Do you know where Djibouti is? I don't either. All I know is that it's somewhere in Africa (or somewhere around there), and their currency is actually called RUPEES! In fact, I did a report on them for my invisible teacher! Here's how it went...

"Djibouti is a country. Their currency is rupees. Not jewel rupees like in Zelda. But money rupees. That is my report."

Isn't it wonderful?? I got an A! A for 'atrocious'!! Yayz! (A/N: If you actually believed that, you need help.)

Um....THE END OF THIS MONDO SHORT CHAPTER!!!

**=.+.=.+.=**

A/N: Ta-DAH! Great. Um...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEEEE!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEE!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEEEE!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!! TODAY, JANUARY THIRTEENTH IS MY BIRTHDAY!!!

Also, I wanna hear your opinions on...stuff. I just like to read notes from you guys in reviews =)

R+R!

**Poll!**

**Saria and Mido are the cutest couple in all of Zelda, right? (CUTEST, not necessarily the best, just the most kawaii!)**

**Yes  
Yup  
Yeah  
Of course  
Absolutely  
Definitely  
Certainly  
Positively  
No *gasp!***

**Tell me in a review!!**

**P.S. Do you wanna know what my presents were?? I got a digital camera! And, and, a gift card so's I can get a GAMECUBE!! Oh YEAH! *runs off without finishing the list***


	11. More Sugary Wedding Goodness

Lil' Zelda College: More Sugary Wedding Goodness

A/N: Yo! Sorry bout the lack o' updates, peepz! I was just, um, being........conservative of FF.net space! Yeah...that's it...

Anywho, I just NOW got to see The Mummy, and The Mummy Returns...so I've been busy watching, and re-watching them ^^ I LOVE that movie!!

More news: I no longer am a Skullkid Glomper! I am now..............A MIDO GLOMPER! WAHOOOOOOOOOO!!!

The winner of the last poll was..........YES!! YAY!! Although, to the two peeps who said NO *gasp*, I must say...POO TO YOU!

Disclaimer: Oo -_- OO ^^ ^~ ~- ^o^ =) :) XD =D :D =P :P @_@ $_$ *_* =.......now...does that LOOK like Miyamoto to you? Nah...he'd probably do this: "I RULE!!" ...cuz he does!

**BIG, BIG, BIG, BIIIIIIIIG NEWS!!! Go to  http://www.nintendoland.com/zelda/news/news36.htm for the info!! This is gonna be BIG, Baby, REAL BIG! (this is NOT my site, btw) Also, this is a really good Zelda site, but you HAVE to read that article!!!**

**=.+.=.+.=**

Link was running!! Away from Miria (Mido/Saria) cuteness!!

And then he fell on his rear, RIGHT AT KIMBERLY'S FEET!!

But...she didn't see him. So she stepped on him.

"OWCHIES!"

"LINK?! What are you doing down there? Wait-I don't wanna know."

"Kimberlyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!! Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu..."

Kimberly looked at him.

Then he jumped up, knocking her over!!

"Yeepers! Link! Whydja go and do that?? That was so juvenile! Only someone in like, 1st grade would do that! I hate that! Don't do it again!"

"Wanna sit with me during Saria and Mido's wedding?"

"Sure."

Then Link and Kimberly started to talk.

Then Link ran away.

Then Kimberly just stood there. Staring off into space.

Then she was thrown into a violent fit of body spasms!

Courtesy of all you Kimberly haters ^^

**=.+.=.+.=**

Anju was running, trying to find Saria and Mido.

She was running.

Kinda like that one pink energizer bunny that keeps going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going!!!!!!!

**=.+.=.+.=**

Malon and Zelda were distracted from finding Saria and Mido LOOOOOOOOOONG before this chapter was even THOUGHT of!

They were busy......................................................................................BACK AT THE CHEESY PUFF STAND!

"So...you wanna nother pork bun?"

"Sure."

Just then, because it was convenient, Winter Daze popped in!!!

"Do YOU wanna pork bun?"

"Do I wanna pork bun? Do YOU wanna pork bun?"

"I wanna pork bun."

"Then GET a pork bun!"

"I don't have any money."

"Then why didja ask me?"

"So you could pay for me."

"Oh."

**=.+.=.+.=**

A/N: OK! This chapter was shorter than my lil' beagle, but it's a cute short! ........really.

R+R!

**Poll!...actually, it's more of a quiz...**

**(If ya do some research on me, you'll know this right off the bat!)  
Which Link/? shipper am I?**

**Malink  
Zelink  
Sarink  
Nabink  
Rutink**

**Tell me in your review!**


	12. -The Author of this Fic is High on Sweet...

Lil' Zelda College: -The Author of this Fic is High on Sweet N' Low-

A/N: Nyeeheeheehee!! I just FELT like writing this! *ahem* Well, I guess this is the part that I...let you read! Whatever. *jumps away LIKE A RABBIT!! A BUUUUUUUUNNY POOOOOOOOOO!!!! WEE!*

Ze winner of the laaaast POLL was..........GUESS WHAT?! Mooooost peeps said Zelink...and you know WHAT?!.....................................................................THEY'RE RIIIIGHT!!! I'm 100% Zelink shippy! OF COURSE...there's Saria and Miiiiiiido......but we'll not get into that ;)

To "mr", that is YOUR opinion. And if you're BRAVE, you should put your E-MAIL address with your review! Gosh--I hate it when you get a flame, and they're too chicken to give you their e-mail address!! If you want to know what he wrote--it was this:

**"that was a crappily short chapter...i hate yo and your stories you cannot write stopwriting your stupid f*cking stories"**

That's all he wrote! No reason--no nothing! In fact, when I read this review--I was laughing! My gosh--I must have spent a good five minutes just laughing at this guy!

Disclaimer: ZELDA?!?! NO! I DO NOT OWN ZELDA! NOR DO I OWN MALON, OR LINK, OR RUTO, OR SARIA, OR MIDO, OR ANYBODY ELSE!!! MWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**=.+.=.+.=**

OK, so, um, well, everybody found everybody else, so they're all in Zelly's house!

"Lalalalalalalalalalalalala!" screeched Malon, and started to dance. Then Zelda joined her, and together, they formed a wonderful dance routine.

When they turned to bow to their audience---THEY WERE GONE! Every last one of 'em went to Saria and Mido's wedding, which was oh-so-very sudden!

Alas, Malon and Zelda ran out the door, magically in their wedding clothes, and were running down the street towards the Cheesy Puff stand, which was were Saria and Mido decided to host their wedding.

They made it, and jumped in a third row seat, and NOBODY NOTICED THEM......! Wowziez!

**=.+.=.+.=**

Link stood at the front of the park where the Cheesy Puff stand was, and kicked at a loose pebble.

As if on cue, Kimberly appeared outta nowhere!!

"Hi, Liiiiiiiiiink!" she said. Link gave her a half-hearted smile, and held out his arm. She accepted, and they both walked over to where they would sit during the wedding, which was directly in front of Malon and Zelda.

Whoa. My sugar rush just disappeared.

Malon whispered something to Zelda, and they both walked away, giggling. Giggling like Oh hohohoh, not heeheehee. I don't like heeheehee. Actually, I like Mua hahaha. So, instead of going Oh hohohoho, or heeheehee, they were going Mua hahaha. Understaaaaaaaand????

They came back, but Malon was wearing a blue wig, and Zelda had glasses and a messy hairdo.

"Duuurr....weylcoooome ta Saria n' Mido's wedddddin, yunguns!" shouted Malon in Kimberly's ear.

"Ack!" Kimberly screeched. "Who the HECK are YOU?!?!"

Zelda gave a big goofy grin, and said, "Why, *snort* we're from the International Hentai Association That Eats Yummy Orange Underwear! IHATEYOU for *snort* short."

Link stared at Zelda for a minute. "You're national perverts that eat underwear?"

Malon whacked him over the head. "Dur....yep, you yungun!!"

Suddenly Link smiled. "Oh! I get it!"

Malon and Zelda smacked him, glaring at him to shut up.

"Why do you keep hitting my boyfriend?"

Suddenly, out from the distance, you could hear Anju yelling, "He's not your boyfriend!!!!!!!"

Link coughed. "Um...Kimberly?"

"Yes, Liiiiiiiiinky-poooooooo?????"

"Um...I'm uh, part of the IHATEYOU club, and can you be in it too?? Pleeeeeeeease???"

"Sure! What do I have to do???"

Zelda piped in: "You have to eat orange underwear!!"

Kimberly facefaulted. "What?! But I don't eat undergarments!!!"

Malon added, "That's not all! You also have to eat the LOVELY dish that we give you!"

Kimberly's eyebrows twitched. "OK...I guess. But about that underwear----" Suddenly, Zelda shoved a huge pair of orange underwear in Kimberly's mouth.

They probably belonged to Jared Funk.

Kimberly began to scream--well, a muffled scream *hint hint*--and spat the underwear all over the people in front of her.

"Hey! Watch it, slut!" shouted Nabooru, who had just stopped embracing Ganon. She stood up, and glared at Kimberly. "What are you doing eating underwear?!"

Kimberly began to cry. "I'm sorry, chick...but I have to do that in order to please my boyfriend!"

Anju began to scream. "He's nooooooooot your boyfriend!!!!!"

Kimberly began whining. "I'm sooooo sorry, Link! I can't go through with this!!"

Zelda, seeing a fault in their plain, said, "It's OK *snort* little girl!! You can just chew on it like gum!" Then, again, she shoved the underwear back in Kimberly's mouth.

"For how long?" asked Link, as Kimberly was doing her best not to puke.

"Until the groom kisses the bride! Then, after that, we'll continue the initiation!" Then, the two IHATEYOU members, left. And Zelda and Malon went to their seats--looking like themselves.

The underwear didn't all fit in Kimberly's mouth, so, she was sitting there, with half of an orange undergarment hanging out of her mouth, and her face looked green. Not a good combination of colors at ALL!!

**=.+.=.+.=**

A/N: There you goooooooooooooooo!!!!! Didja eeeeenjooooooooooooooy?!?!?!?!?!??!?!? Sha-uuuure hope so!

There will probably be only about one or two more chapters in LZC...so...after I finish the fic...what should I doooooooo????

R+R!

**Poll!**

**OK...LZC's coming to a close! Should I do more in the series, or go on to other fics? :)**

**Keep going!! School fics are cyyyooooooool!!! 'Specially with Sweet n Low!  
I dun care  
Other fics!! Expand your horizons...learn the almighty power of cheese!**

**Tell me in your revoooooooooooooooooow!!!**


	13. IHATEYOU Initiation!!!

Lil' Zelda College: IHATEYOU Initiation!!!

A/N: WOOT! Chapter THIRTEEEEEEEN!! MWE HEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!!

Onward! To the IHATEYOU initiation!!!!

Disclaimer: I don't own Zelda.

**=.+.=.+.=**

Mido was at the pulpit thingy. And then everyone heard the old doors creak behind them. Everyone turned around, and saw Saria.

She was wearing a white gown. Duh. She was walking down the aisle with some dude, but she punched him, and he walked away.

She walked up to where Mido was standing, and then she alluvasudden tripped on the carpet!!

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa--" *clunk!* Everyone stared at Saria.

Mido gasped. "SARIAAAAAAAA!!! MY LITTLE SARIA BUNNY!!" And he quickly bent down, and gave her mouth ta mouth resuscitation.

The priest guy thingy looked at them. "I guess that counts as kissing the bride."

Kimberly gave a joyful muffle, and spat the underwear she was...um...chewing, all over Nabooru.

"AUGH! HEY! You little SLUT!!!! You're gonna pay for that!!"

Malon and Zelda ran away.

The two IHATEYOU members came back.

"OKAY!! *snort* You've passed phase *snort* one!" Zelda grabbed the orange underwear, and gave it back to Jared Funk.

"Weyll, the neyyxt thang fer ya ta doooo......iz ta eat the deeeeelishus meeeyyl we giyve ya!" shouted Malon. She ran away, and came back with a plate.

Kimberly looked at the nice salad with what looked like yellow-ish lima beans. "O...K..." she said, then Zelda shoved the plate in her face.

"Eat *snort* up!!!" Zelda gave a goofy giggle.

Kimberly grabbed a fork from some unknown place, and began eating. "Mmmm....this is pretty good. Say...what are those yellow things? They taste really good!" said Kimberly, swallowing one of the yellow thingies.

Malon gave a devilish grin, but Kimberly didn't see it. "Mealworms."

Kimberly blinked, and then..."EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" She started to thrash her arms about, but only succeeded in knocking the plate. The salad flew everywhere, but somehow all of it landed on Kimberly.

She screamed again, and looked at the tiny little worms crawling up her body. She screeched as loud as she could, before she fainted.

Malon and Zelda high-fived, but they missed, and ended up whacking each other upside the head.

"OW!"

Link stared at Kimberly. "..........that's gross."

"NO DUH, SHERLOCK!!!"

Anju ran up from nowhere, and stared at Kimberly. ".............." Delayed reaction. "AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!"

Zelda looked around. "Is that all we're doing?"

Malon looked at Kimberly. "...I didn't think she'd be out that easily."

Just then-Kimberly woke up!! She looked at the mealworms crawling up her body, and shrieked. "EW!!" She grabbed all of them, and threw them at Nabooru.

Nabooru stood up. "HEY!! THAT'S THE LAST STRAW!!!" She grabbed this big bazooka thingy, and started to chase Kimberly.

"AH!!"

Everybody yawned, and they went to the reception, and began to eat cake.

Malon looked over to Zelda. "Zel?"

"What?"

"What about that De'Vonni guy that Anju was talking about?"

".........."

**Scene: In the Bahamas**

De'Vonni danced around, with a bunch of island chicks. "WHOOO!! TASTE THE ISLANDS, MON!!"

~ole ole impromptu~

"YAY!! HEY! GIMME ONE O' THOSE SANDWICHES, BAYBEE!!!"

**Back at the reception**

Mido was STILL giving Saria mouth-ta-mouth, but they were both fully awake.

Link looked at them. Then he looked over to the cake where Zelda and Malon were standing.

He reached into his pocket, and pulled out a cute little velvet case. He opened it, revealing a rock.

A diamond rock. Not a rock rock.

He started to walk over to the cake, and looked at Zelda and Malon. He took the diamond ring, and held it out to one of them.

She didn't see it, but Link tripped, and landed in the cake.

"AW, DANGIT!!!"

Link looked around for the ring, and saw Kimberly grab a piece of the cake.

"No, Kimberly! Don--"

*chomp!!*

"--'t..."

Kimberly started gagging, and ran away- Never to be seen again.

"......dang. That ring was like....a lot of money!!"

Zelda looked at him. "Link. You're an idiot."

Malon blinked. "You gave Kimberly a ring?"

Zelda blinked. "YOU WHAT?!"

Link laughed nervously. "No I didn't! I was just...just...I fell into the cake, and she ate my ring!"

"A likely story!!"

Then both of the girls chased Link ALL around to room.

While Saria and Mido were still kissing.

**=.+.END.+.=**

A/N: Well...I kinda rushed it. I had NO idea on how I could end it! GAH! But, at least it's OVER! *sigh* I've finally finished it!! *rejoices* YAA-*stops* Oh, hey! Mousse1/2 e-mailed me with a few suggestions on what to do for the next Lil' Zelda, so, I'm gonna use one o' those. Tis Lil' Zelda Careers, it is! But if, and only if, YOU guys want Lil' Zelda Careers!! Kay?

R+R!

**Poll!  
Should I do Lil' Zelda Careers?**

**YES!!  
...I HOPE YOU DO!!  
YES, NO, MAYBE SO!!  
...I'D RATHER YOU DIDN'T!  
NO!!**

**Tell me!!**


End file.
